How to Properly Get into Your Vehicle

Jun 18

Dear New Car Owner: Congratulations! You’ve finally obtained the wheels you’ve been longing to get. If this is not necessarily your dream car, but rather just something that can get you from point A to point B without dying on you, then a “congratulations” is still in order, although a little less hyped. You get what you can afford—good for you!

You may have realized that while you have just bought your new-to-you car and a celebration is in order, having your own fiesta on the previous owner’s lawn or driveway is not appropriate. After all, you don’t want them to rethink the sale they just made. You must now get inside your automobile and drive away.

Don’t know how to get in your vehicle? Not a problem, new-used car owner! After reading this in front of the prior title-holder, you will surely impress them with your getting-into-car skills.

Step 1: Make sure the car is unlocked. If you find that you are locked out of your vehicle, pick the correct key out of your hand or pocket. Once you have found said key, slowly put it into the keyhole of the driver’s side door. Turn key to unlock.

Step 2: Wrap your left hand around the handle making a fist and pull the handle outward. Now, this is assuming that you purchased a vehicle with a fairly standard handle, and not one that has a lock code or lifts up. We don’t need you in a more awkward situation than need be, panicking with sweat as you struggle to open the door. If you did happen to pay for a vehicle that has those handles, then good luck, kid. You are on your own.

Step 3: Once you have pulled the handle outward, slowly pull the car’s door toward the left, since that is the way they tend to swing. Again, if your car door does something different than this (i.e. suicide doors), you are on your own.

Step 4: Break! Phew. Your vehicle’s door is now ajar. You deserve a little R&R. Maybe stop and have some conversation with the previous owner about this awesome article you are currently reading off your smart phone.

Step 5 A: Put your right foot in and your right hand in. Similar to “The Hokey Pokey,” but you will have to refrain from putting your right foot and hand out once they are in. We’ll call it “The Car Pokey,” for all intents and purposes. Lower yourself into the vehicle so you are now sitting on the driver’s seat. Once you are seated, make sure you aren’t slouching. You want everyone around to know that you have good posture.

Step 5 B: While putting half your body into the vehicle, many people choose to also have their left hand grabbing onto the roof of the vehicle or the door. If this is comfortable for you, then please do as you wish.

Step 6: Stop for one last chit-chat. You don’t want to be rude, after all. Let the old owner know of your gratitude and appreciation for selling you this car. A nice wave now would be nice since waving while you drive away can be considered part of the distracted driving epidemic. You don’t want to be a statistic.

Step 7: Put the rest of your body inside the vehicle and slowly close the door. Door slamming can be considered rude depending on your culture.

Step 8: Buckle up for safety! There’s nothing else to that. Just buckle your seat belt. It’s the law.

Step 9 A: Before you read the next step, acknowledge this message: make sure the web-enabled device you are using to read these instructions is put away before taking the next step. Again, distracted driving is an epidemic.

Step 9 B: You can now turn on your vehicle and slowly drive away! Remember, in most neighborhoods, the speed limit is 25MPH. Please do not exceed the speed limit, as you do not want to get a ticket within minutes of your new purchase.

The time you took to read this is much appreciated. You could have chosen to not buy a vehicle or learned how to get into said automobile from your father who went with you to buy this car, but you didn’t. And your time reading this is now treasured. Enjoy your new skill in the world of cars. Go get ‘em, tiger!

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